IF YOU ARE A YOUNG WOMAN WITH THE DESIRE TO GET MARRIED, you've probably asked the question ''Is he the one?'' If you’re anything like me, your past also has some failed relationships and disappointments. One good thing that comes from that are lessons learned.
Here are some things I want my future daughters - and you - to know when there’s a man on the scene.
The man who genuinely loves you will never
- hide you from the world
- be unsure of your value or worth
- be uncertain about what you mean to him
The man who genuinely loves you will
- pursue you openly and honestly
- be transparent with his intentions
- purposefully introduce you to his family & friends
- honour your relationship’s boundaries
- be truthful about his past
- be intentional about the next step in your relationship
- love you but love Jesus more.
If you’re in a situation with a guy where you’re an afterthought, a maybe or a sometimes - I suggest you scramble on outta there. If you’re a secret, a hook-up or a convenience - I suggest you run.
Yes, I know - some things take time. But if enough time and excuses go by and you’re still not his girlfriend - he does not want to date you. If enough time and excuses go by and you’re still not his fiancée- he does not want to marry you.
It’s not a reflection of your worth - it’s a reflection of your worth to him.
And yes, that hurts - and breaking things off is difficult! But a hurting heart today is better than a shattered heart a year from now.
You are valuable. You are beautiful. And the Lord has the perfect spouse for you. Don’t compromise. He’s not the one if he doesn’t choose you. And then choose you every day. For life.
Life is short. Don’t waste your life on “maybe one day he’ll...” because you’ll look up and the years will be gone but he’s still “working on some stuff” or “not ready” and the harsh reality that hits you will be colder than it needed to be.
When you find the one who your soul loves - the one who loves you back equally fiercely - both of you will know that you know that you know that you belong together. There will be no doubt and no second guessing. There will be nothing missing and nothing broken. And there will be nothing to hide.
If you are feeling unsure about the situation you're in, sit at the feet of the Father, my precious friend. Ask Him for wisdom. James 1:5 says: If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. And then listen. He’s speaking! Do what He says.
The Lord will give you the strength to do what needs to be done.
And then when you’ve cried and you’ve cried and your heart feels ready - then pray for your future spouse. Trust the Lord that your man will pursue you - that’s his job not yours. Believe that God has a man who will love you for you and not be ashamed to shout it from the rooftops. You are worthy - immeasurably more than you think, precious woman.