WE ALL HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE. This is true for everything really: how can we start anywhere but at the beginning? And doesn’t the end of something often look very different from the beginning – and even the process in the middle? Think of a cake. An iced cake looks very different from the gooey mixture in the oven – and vastly unlike the individual ingredients at the beginning.
Sometimes we catch glimpses of someone else’s relationship with God and wonder if we’re missing something on our side: ‘Why don’t I know God the way that they do?’ or ‘Why don’t those supernatural things happen to me?’ etc. Sometimes we expect to have a perfectly iced cake when God is baking something entirely different in our lives: something with different ingredients, a different recipe and a totally different – but equally delicious – outcome.
I want to encourage you with this today: God is not a respecter of persons – He has no favourites – and all of the beautiful promises in His Word as well as the glorious invitation to a deeper relationship with Him is available to anyone who chooses it. But relationships and intimacy take time to grow and history with God is only created over time. I think of my relationship with Caleb. Our relationship eight months into marriage looks very different from our first week of marriage and is quite unlike it looked one month into dating. I can only imagine what it will look like in forty years’ time! The level of our love and intimacy is continuing to grow and our history is being built up because we have made each other and our relationship a priority. We are intentional about our quality time; we listen to each other; we believe the best about each other and we’re confident in the love that we have for each other. We also don’t expect our marriage to be a carbon-copy of anyone else’s because we acknowledge that it is unique. This is how it is with God. Your relationship with God is unique too. It doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it’s not supposed to.
Jeremiah 29:13 says, ‘You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.’ And James 4:8 says that ‘when we draw near to God, He draws near to us.’ The beautiful thing is that this remains true whether we feel it or not. Don’t feel condemned if, when you are alone with God, you “don’t feel anything” or even if you find it difficult to read your Bible in the beginning. Not feeling God doesn’t mean He’s not there. Not feeling like reading the Bible doesn’t mean you shouldn’t - and not understanding the Word doesn’t mean it’s not the Truth. It is.
If Caleb came up to me on the day we met and asked me for a kiss on the cheek I would’ve said no. And the reason for that would be nothing other than the fact that I barely knew him nor did I trust him. And that’s not wrong; it’s just the truth of the situation! But fast-forward two years and I’m the one smothering him with kisses! God will not fall off the throne if you go to Him and say that you don’t fully trust Him yet – but you’d really like to and could the Holy Spirit please show you how. He will also not fall off the throne if you tell Him that you don’t quite understand the adoration that people have for Him but you do love Him and you would like to get to know Him more. God is not tapping His foot impatiently as we go through our individual processes (which never end in this life by the way. Surprise!). We serve a God who is ‘merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.’ (Psalm 103:8) And He is the same yesterday and today and forever! (See Hebrews 13:8)
In closing: Don’t compare, don’t chase feelings and don’t give up. Continue to set aside time each day to spend in the Presence of the King. Read the Word and believe that God is there with you and that He desires an ever-deepening relationship with you. Having to grow in any relationship is unavoidable. And it is our honour and privilege to be known by the King and to get to know Him more! You can only fail at growing in relationship with God if you give up entirely.
Be encouraged: It’s only deeper from here!